During a Period

Uterus: I hope you didn't like those underwear.
Stomach: EAT ALL THE THINGS!
Emotions: I don't care that you were crying your eyes out ten minutes ago, that was fucking funny. Now go act like you're high until I see something that pisses me the fuck off.
Stomach: ESPECIALLY THE CHOCOLATY THINGS!
Uterus: Also I've decided to act like something's constantly punching me. I hope you don't mind.
Me: why can I not have a penis.

Girl: I'm having vagina surgery
Boyfriend: I know
Girl: I love you
Boyfriend: I love you too
After surgery she wakes up and only dad is there
Girl: Where is my boyfriend
Dad: Who do you think gave you the vagina
Girl: What

normal people on tumblr: TMI Tuesday! I'll answer anything!!!
Me: Bitch please I would answer anything at anytime but no one asks me shit